Would Have Been Twenty- Two Years Tomorrow

                Thinking about all the anniversaries coming up, I remembered that if my husband was still alive, we would had been married twenty-two years April 3.  I choose that day because my Grandpa and Grandma Havens were married on that date in 1934.   Now here it is, 2014.
               The first April 3 after my husband's death in 2007 was really rough.  I had to call my mom and cry and then cry on my sister while talking to her on the phone.  I remember that week real well because it was the week before Easter Sunday and my family was getting ready to have everyone over for the holiday.  I can describe that feeling as a plane getting ready to crash into the ground because when Easter came, the kids and I went to church with the family, came back to my parents house and had dinner.  I wasn't at all very talkative.  I was distant, then without warning I started to have massive tremors.   Holding back the grief came out one way or another, I guess.  My mom went home with the kids and I until I was better.
                Its been a very hard road since but every April 3 has gotten better.  I still get the blues and think about my late husband on our wedding day so many years ago but I have come to realize that I have so many memories ahead of me I need to make.  Those were my younger years, they have passed but my future lies ahead.   I have wonderful kids, great parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and a caring man who keeps a watchful eye on me all the way from New England.    Above all of this, I have an awesome God taking care of all of us.  He's been there from the beginning.  I had been blessed then , I am blessed now and I will be blessed for years to come!