Thursday, March 6, 2014

What Is Grief?

     When I first moved down here to Delaware, Ohio with my two (Then) children.  I hadn't given myself or should say allowed myself to grieve.  I kept being told to "Be Strong And Go On."  It worked for the first month after my husband died but after awhile my body decided otherwise.  I slowly broke down.
      No body knew how to help me, the "quick fix " didn't work.  I needed to talk it out so my sister talked me into joining a grief support group.  Grief was just part of my trouble, Depression anxiety and panic attacks plagued me as well and getting over the first "Mountain Of Pain" wasn't so easy.  I looked for ways to ease my suffering.  I turned to books, bought favorite movies for the kids and I and vegetated in front of the Television or napped on the couch.  Then I decided to try "The Midwest Center Of Depression And Anxiety" still something inside never seemed to let me heal.  Going off my anti-depression medicine in December of 2006, only added to my troubles.
      Many care providers kinda shook their head at me and only upped my anti-depression Medication, well that made it worse.  I kept praying for help because by the time I was really down and out, no one else wanted to help and I was left very few options.  To make a long story short, God did answer my prayer and gave me physicians willing to take a look at my problems and then I was blessed with a very special friend who showed me that life and love wasn't over for me, even though I wanted to give up.  He is indeed a very special man to me and will remain that way for the rest of my life, even though he's many miles away in Massachusetts.  I love him dearly and I always will.
      Many times when I have had a rough day, maybe something reminds me of the past or if I even get discouraged.  I know God is with me, He's the greatest of all.  I owe everything I am to Him.  He has blessed me so much even when I don't think I deserve it.  Russ Taft recorded a song in 1989, that has been my "Strengthening Song"  I play.  I want to share it with you.

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