Can You Hear Me Calling Your Name?

       I think when you are a single person or parent, night time is one of the loneliness part of the day, especially when you are a widow and sleeping in a large bed.  The last time I ever shared my bed with any man was when my husband was still alive.  After he died, I got into a habit of sleeping with lots of pillows, so I had something to cuddle up too.  Sometimes my dog lays at the foot of the bed for company, that is only when it is really cold.
      The hardest time is when I really need to talk through things that are bothering me or just need someone to hold.  I am not one, just to go out and find someone, just to ease my mind.  That's not me.  When I said I was "Old Fashioned" that is exactly what I mean.   The belief in today's society is measured by the programs they come out with like "Hot In Cleveland" or "The Exes" which upsets me.  If you like the shows, I apologize in advance for my protest of this.   To me its vulgar, not cute..to put it bluntly its just a bunch of over stimulated middle age to old men and women and Betty White, just plain disgusting in her dialog.
  Not every person is like that young or old.
 Even when I was young, I never "tumbled" for any man who just wanted to quote"Play Around".  Prude, maybe, but I think faithfulness and being respectful to those who love you and for those you love is important.
       Last night, I had a terrible time following asleep because I was thing of that certain man who lives on the East Coast in Amesbury.  My mind kept racing with thought of how much I missed him and if I ever would see him again.  Once I woke myself up calling out his name and reaching out for him.  It was a call as if I saw him in my dream, nothing dirty.   For a moment I had to focus my eyes to see where I was, the light I keep on during the night brought me around to reality.
      So what is that saying to me, simply that I care about him, more and more each day and yet frightened that maybe he would be upset that my feelings for him are strong.  I am very attached to him and like I mentioned before, I always feel safe with him and in that the knowledge he still cares for the kids and I.
      Sometimes, I wish when we call out someone's name secretly in our minds that somehow they can hear us and know that they are loved and that they are being thought of at that very moment.  Maybe there would be a little less uncertainty about how much we care for them and finally the fear would go away.
      So I like to end this blog by saying that, love isn't defined in the eyes of media, its defined in our hearts and if it is pure, then it can remain as beautiful as love is supposed to be.  A touch of a loved one's hand, cuffing a person's chin or maybe even just a gentle hug and kiss on the forehead.
      Believe in the simple gestures of love, just believe in love.
 
John 15:9-13
  "As the Father loved me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.  If you keep my commandments, you  will abide in My Love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His Love.  These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you and that your joy may be full.  This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends."